come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Thursday, April 30, 2009


Last evening, Wednesday....My brother and sister in law's grandson, Wade, age 14 [ my son's age], fell from a ladder while fixing a basketball hoop. He was convulsing and vomiting and unconscious. By ambulance he was taken to the hospital.

They have driven to where he lives, and have told me that as of this morning he is still unconscious. Please, take a moment, if you will and pray for him and for his family.
Thank you,
and Thank our Heavenly Father for families. ♥

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Daily WOOL: Committed to Make a Stand

Committed to Make a Stand

"So where should each of us make our stand? As we demonstrate our devotion to God by our daily acts of righteousness, He can know where we stand. For all of us this life is a time of sifting and refining.

We all face trials. Individual members in the early days of the Church were tested and refined when they had to decide if they had the faith, … to put their belongings in a wagon or a pioneer handcart and travel across the American plains. Some did not have the faith.

Those who did traveled ‘with faith in every footstep.’

In our time we are going through an increasingly difficult time of refining and testing. The tests are more subtle because the lines between good and evil are being eroded.

Very little seems to be sacred in any of our public communication. In this environment we will need to make sure where we stand all of the time in our commitment to eternal truths and covenants."

- James E. Faust,

"Where Do I Make My Stand?"

Ensign (CR), November 2004, p.18

This was in my email today...

I just felt that it was inspiring for each of us

in our individual lives and trials,

our inner struggles,

the tragedies that we face,

and the sometimes treacherous choices

that bring us weeping on our knees.

I know that I have been there, and recently. This brought me some perspective, and fortitude.

I hope that you find some peace in it as well. Thanks for reading!

I will soon have the time to come by and catch up with you all. I am almost done with my finals.

Thanks for hanging in there with me.

I promise some fun Monday Mumblings,

Tastless Tuesday...yes, I made it up,

Wordless Wednesday/Way Back Whensday......

Tell it Thursday...Thankful Thursday....

Freaky Friday....

A week ahead...and if I can get this homework done I will be right on top of it for you, and come by. Hope you are all well.

The first picture was taken on our way back home, flying over the states.
I was quite happy to be back in the US. I love foreign travel
for the diversity of life, and lovely people to meet and places to
explore, but I knew I was headed home to my kids. YEAH.

I thought the picture went well with Committed to Make a Stand...
why not be committed to fly above the clouds, on your own quest
to be your personal best....just a thought.

The second picture is from our Road Trip,
and visit to Queen Elizabeths Botanical Gardens.

Cayman experienced devistation during Hurricane Ivan.
Much of it was

greatly destroyed,
and many suffered terribly.

Look closely at this is down, the roots pulled out of the ground.
But somehow a small branch decided to grow strong.
And there it is, a beautiful new life, from one that seemed
to have been taken in tragedy.

I think we all have a little branch in us
fights to be strong, faithful,
and do it's very best...

a lot can come of our tragedies,
as we strive to just

do our best.

Thursday, April 23, 2009


Marj aka Thriver
tagged me with an award:

"Mile 191 at Come Into My Closet is on a little bloggy break right now. I can see why she needs the rest. She runs a "blog carnival" on her blog just about every week. I've never seen any blogger who is so tireless at their willingness to support and promote other blogs. If you like "linky love," check out her blog!"

THANK YOU!!!! Lots of love ♥ for the kindness



tagged me with the "Love ya Award"

THANKS!!!! I love ya too.


heal and forgive

"6. Mile191 - at Come into my Closet - who shares her riveting voice and "soaks up" her recovery within a wide community of survivors."

THANK YOU. All of the love and amazing support, and being included in awards to amazing people who are surviving the most atrocious nightmares that life can throw at us. We stand together strong and united in fighting our pain and fears.

Thanks for the love!!!
Now I get to tag with awards I come!!!!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Hey...I am Back!!!

Sailing to Stingray Bay, Cayman Islands

Thanks everyone for your greetings while I have been away. I have a lot of homework to be doing and then I hope to come by and say hello to everyone. I have just one week of school left, and came back really behind. I noticed a couple of awards for me. THANK YOU. So sweet, really, and I do want to check in with you all. I miss knowing what is up and being there to support, and being supported by y'all.

Do hope you have a happy week...end, and when I get some time I will come read and catch up and say a personal hello.

Thanks for still being here for me.
And to those of you who are new here,
hanks for taking the time to read and cry and care.
I hope to return the favor.
We are all in places in our lives
that hurt and ache and
sometimes celebrate great moments.
I appreciate the place you each hold in my life.
Thanks for celebrating this
adventure that I have been on,
a vacation from the pain of my past.

I am doing pretty well.

I came home with a bad cold. We got stranded there for a day, it wasn't bad but exhausting....It was a lovely time all together. As you can see, beautiful.

I will post some sunrise/sunsets for you all, and some stories, and some of my guts soon. But for now...HOMEWORK is demanding my attention...

....and my kids are getting what is left, they need me right now.

Monday, April 13, 2009

we'll be back...

tell me how you are doing???
When I get back, I will stop by...
thx, xoxoxxx, ♥

Thursday, April 9, 2009


Things are going pretty well, however I have had to take a bit of a break from the blog world. Not that I want to be MIA, but life took over.

I am pretty behind in school, and taking care of family for a bit. I will be back....thanks for your patience. I hope you are all well.

I am sorry to not be checking in with you. You have each influenced my life, and I care deeply to know how you are. I just have to catch up. And then my husband is taking me on a vacation for next week. I will be back as soon as I can. Hugs. Prayers that you are each doing well, and knowing that Mile here cares about you.

In my thoughts, and prayers, you are. Thanks for the love and support. Be back in a bit. ♥

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Born Again: i needed this tonight...

"Eight years after I was born, I learned something about the great principle of repentance by which we can clear out our D.F.T. [damn foolish things] files and be born again.

And so, on August 27, 1911, I was born of the water and of the Spirit in the exact manner prescribed by the Savior of the world. I became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and had the gift of the Holy Ghost officially conferred upon me.

Then I had another great experience. I discovered that I could be reborn as many times as I desired, and that each time I could be reborn better.

Phillip Brooks was once asked when he was born and he said, 'It was one Sunday afternoon when I was twenty-five years old, just after I had finished reading a great book.'

Sterling W. Sill, "Great Experiences,"
Ensign (CR),
June 1971, p.43

What will my being reborn again take? I am so stuck right now. Just trying to make it through every day, and each new moment. Trying to be my best, and struggling to like myself. Struggling to recognize my worth, struggling to see the good that I do. Sounds pathetic, I guess it is. But it is me.

How are you?

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191