come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Friday, March 30, 2012

random fact about 191

Spooky today....on the radio I hear that some airlines are considering banning this flight number: 191. It is the deadliest flight number in history. More people lose their lives on this flight number than any other.

According to the Wall Street Journal, "191 is one of the most tragic of all flight numbers."


May 25, 1979 remains the darkest day in American aviation. On that Friday before the Memorial Day Weekend, 270 passengers and crew aboard American Airlines Flight 191 lost their lives.

August 2, 1985, Delta Airlines flight 191 crashed killing 8 of 11 crew members, 126 of 152 passengers on board, and one person on the ground. Two people also died more than 30 days after the crash, bringing the total fatalities to 137.

October 6, 2006, American Airlines flight 191, crashed..deaths.

And most recently...

JetBlue Airways Flight 191 diverted to Amarillo, Texas, on Tuesday with an erratically behaving pilot locked out of the cockpit and restrained by passengers. Witnesses said it was a bad situation — on a flight with a bad flight number. (credit: Wall Street Journal)

What does that say about the phenomena of my Mile 191?

And in other bad brother passed away a couple of weeks ago from a tragic heart attack or stroke, autopsy still out.

It sucks and the grieving is trashing me right now.

Ridiculous really, he was 43 years old, one year older than my foster mother, who died at her Mile 191. she died, at mile 191. I really am only in the anger stage right now, which is feeding my soul like a diet of junk food.

This Saturday is one year from the death of my Mother, age 66. I heard, on the radio, about a month ago that Davy Jones from the Monkey's died recently, age 66, quoted "too young to die". 66, too young to die! What does that say about my brother, 43....two young daughter ages 15 and 13....and my brother, dead, too die!

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191