come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Born Again: i needed this tonight...

"Eight years after I was born, I learned something about the great principle of repentance by which we can clear out our D.F.T. [damn foolish things] files and be born again.

And so, on August 27, 1911, I was born of the water and of the Spirit in the exact manner prescribed by the Savior of the world. I became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and had the gift of the Holy Ghost officially conferred upon me.

Then I had another great experience. I discovered that I could be reborn as many times as I desired, and that each time I could be reborn better.

Phillip Brooks was once asked when he was born and he said, 'It was one Sunday afternoon when I was twenty-five years old, just after I had finished reading a great book.'

Sterling W. Sill, "Great Experiences,"
Ensign (CR),
June 1971, p.43

What will my being reborn again take? I am so stuck right now. Just trying to make it through every day, and each new moment. Trying to be my best, and struggling to like myself. Struggling to recognize my worth, struggling to see the good that I do. Sounds pathetic, I guess it is. But it is me.

How are you?


SapphireDreams said...

You are such an inspiration to me and with the words that you say. Although I dont know you....but I get how you feel. I am there sometimes too. Just try and breeze thru the change that is happening to you and smile and say to your self I AM STRONG and eager to see what life is going to bring to me: embrace it and learn with me.
I am living proof. I know some days are harder than others but hang in there. I also know that it's easier for me to say than for you to just do it....but I promise it will be better in time. Just remember you have a whole lot of people on your blog here that follow..and understand exactly where you are. Hang in there luv!

Just Be Real said...

Mile, you have come a long way. As Sapphire Dreams stated, there are a lot of bloggers that care about you here, we being many! I too say, "hang in there." You are doing the best you can, under the circumstances. I am learning this about myself even. I need to be content Just Where I Am At, and don't go beyond that point until the next, Just Where I Am At! Blessings dear one and thank you for sharing your pain with us!

Psych Client said...

Good question to yourself about what being reborn will take.

I'm sorry you are stuck, I often feel that way and don't always understand why. My moods drive me all over town it seems.

I love your writings and learn from them....hugs!

Prayer Girl said...

No matter what is happening, it will change. When you are stuck, try to hold on to the belief and trust that it will change.


If you have trouble believing this, then believe that I believe this to be true.

Prayers headed your way,
Prayer Girl

Just Be Real said...

Mile, I miss not seeing or hearing from you dear!

Steve E. said...

Mile, I SO appreciate your writings and thoughts. On Rebirth:

Ya know, I do believe in that rebirth of which you speak. My being "Born Again" does not happen with a flying leap, or even a jump from one place to another, etc., etc. It cannot be measured by me as it is happening. Only after the fact, am I allowed to look back and say, "Wow! What happened?"

That metamorphosis for me happens slowly but assuredly, a second, or minute at a time, as God lets me experience the rebirth of life during this springtime. That is, e.g., as He has willed it in the universe, the orderliness of the cosmos, or in nature as we can so far observe...

May His peace descend on you today.
In an understandable way.
And I wish for you to hear me say
I love the God within you,
Steve E.

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191