recovery=recover me

there is more strength in you that you realize

"all the strength you will ever need is within you now,

it was put there by your creator --

who knew well

what you would face in this life

and made you equal to it"

healing...one day at a time

a sMILEstone

regarding my previous post: not an easy road we are on

QUICK UPDATE: a happier moment!!!!....his Eagle Project was approved. Yay for people who will listen and understand. Now a few merit badge details, a Board of Review, and his Eagle has become an accomplishment! Yay Son!!!!

the flower that

blooms in adversity

is the most beautiful

one of all

mile 191 and a good friend

click the picture to link to Steve Es post

Mile Marker 191

Hey dear friend Steve E!  It's me...mile :)
THANK YOU for sheding light into my closet and for sharing our story. 
As you know I have healed a LOT from this world of supportive blogging, and I am dearly thankful for every comment and cyber safe (((hug))).  Life is so much better down this road than it was when I began sharing my story. 
I believe in the power of words and in the comfort that comes from those willing to listen by reading and I am thankful for every word of support.
I have much to write, and when done with finals this next week plan to share my own pictures of the origonal Mile 191 (i went back to ponder, ...to heal). 
I also have a fun share about my favorite flower....a hint...

Thank you for your friendship. 
And EVERYONE here for your comments.  I plan to stop by your places when I get done with my papers.
sincerely, mile191

not an easy road we are on

did I mention that my teenager has a head injury?

most people think he is just being a normal teen, thus i am over-reacting to how hard daily stuff is.

i began to write a blog about his head injury,

but i haven't really written from my heart.

oh, sure...it sounds pathetic enough when I update after an appointment, or some new found knowledge of how this week might go.

thing about head injuries

is you never really know

what to do...daily,

hourly,

weekly.

thing about teens...

you never know

what to do...daily,

hourly,

weekly.

it has been a year and a half since his classified mild traumatic brain injury, and since we let him play football (i know...you think we brought it on ourselves at this point) he was hurt again, so we have injury upon injury.

(upon injury...upon injury)

....his head....my heartache

....his heartache....

it's just big.

today as I tried to work with him on his eagle project he decided to go meet up with some friends, to skateboard....another un-safe sport that he engages in...mind you he is 17.5 years old...almost 18....and has a "mind" of his own.

I tried not to lose it....his Eagle project becoming mine to finish....(the paperwork is all that is left, he did the rest....a year ago.)

So as I patiently tried to explain that I needed him here with me to do the paperwork, it is NOT my project and really he should be doing it on his own, but I have been allowed to help him get the paperwork filled out, so that he can get it turned in and he can get credit for the work he did...sounds right, right!?

Wrong...! He says to me..."Mom, I don't even remember doing the Eagle Project".

more heartbreak.

"it was last Spring", i remind him.

"ya, well, there is a lot i don't remember."

i tell him I can show him the pictures.
he tells me, "not now". "can i just go, mom, please?"

i let him go.
and i cry inside.

will he ever remember.

i promise to be back with some of the happier moments, because yes, there are happy parts. i just needed to write this, here, in my closet, safe, while i cry...on the inside.