come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Happy Holidays!

It's been a while.....

I find it frustrating that living life
makes it too busy to blog about it!
[hehehe, smile]

However I am repenting my ways and will be back, ...just not until the beginning of January. I have something I get to do, something that involves my daughter and my little sister, and I am thrilled to have the opportunity. It will keep me away, yet if I have the time or chance I will check in.

Thank you all so much for watching over me.

Mike at Rambling Stuff AKA Golch Central
gave me this award...


His dilemma is now mine.
I have to pass it along to 5 deserving people.
I can think of so many many more as well.

I have so many people here
who have truly watched over me.
I have good thoughts and vibes toward you,
and include you in my prayers.

Yes, I do.

so, for now....I thank you all

And I ask that you take this award
and pass it along to your angels.

My friend Marj passed along a greeting.
...a Christmas Card Gift of Gratitude!
Thanks for Your Support!

Marj aka Thriver
is someone who has taught me that

Thank you for your friendship.
Thank you for your example.
Thank you for your cheer!

I wrote this on my family blog yesterday:

The past few weeks have been full of painting, cleaning, new carpet, remodeling, FINALS for me, and Christmas preparation....and as I took my first bubble bath in the tub
Friday evening
I lay there with gratitude,
knowing that
my perfect.....for me.

My trials are perfect,
my pains are perfect,
my past is perfect,
my present is perfect.

And while none of these things have any element of perfection..
...they fit me just right.
They may not be the size I wish they were,
....who wouldn't want to be a PERFECT 2..

...however, they are just right for me,
cozy, pleasant, fitting.

My trials do FIT me. I don't always like the way they fit. I don't always feel comfortable going out in public with them. I sometimes wish I could have gotten my trials from a different store....the brand doesn't seem right for me.

Yet, I have faith that my trials are perfect for me.

...that I will grow into them.

...that I will someday see
the beauty in them.

...that I will be able to do
what I am meant to with them.

I have hope, and Peace,
...and sometimes I have them.

I feel to say that I am content,
...for now.

I know that the pain will rear its uglyness from time to time, but I have YOU all now.

I have you to walk with me,
and to remind me that
I have someone else
who walks with me....

I have my Savior.
Jesus Christ.

He loves me
and He loves you.

He said He would never leave us.
I believe He never has.

I know He lives.
I know He knows our pains.

He can not remove our trials from us,
but He has made us equal to them,
and He can strengthen
and comfort us in them.

At this time of year may you have JOY.
Remembering that JOY
comes from remembering JESUS first,
then OTHERS,
then YOURSELF!!!!!

see here what I mean:


Thank you for being those OTHERS
who care enough to be ANGELS to watch over,
....and to direct,
those of us who ache
and struggle and the helps that we need.

Thank you all for being the BEST YOU that you can be.

Thank you for being brave enough
to share your stories of pain
and trial and struggle,
and for being honest in sharing them.

You are all amazing people.

My hope is that you all have some PEACE, some JOY, some LOVE, and HAPPINESS in your lives this season and into the New Year.

May you all be CONTENT!


Shadow said...

you really are an angel, believe it. congratulations on the lovely award.

and have a merry christmas and the happiest of new year's, see ya back soon....

sarah said...

this is so beautiful. Your heart speaks truth. Have the best holiday ever. Sarah

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Oh you are the Angel of so many and your journey has meant so much to me...I hope that your time with family is joyful and looking forward to reading you in the New Year...

much love,

Steve E said...

I can remember so many sharings with you back and forth during the past year, and I look forward to more, more, more, during 2010.

Please forgive my shortcomings in keeping up with your blog. I do not know why your postings are not alerted to my blogroll, but I will fix it. I did not know you were using a blogspot URL.

Peace, and LOVE, from ME, who never has forgotten your wonderful gifts you've given to me and others here.
In Gratitude.

Just Be Real said...

Dear one you are so very special! Thank you Mile. Blessings and safe hugs always.

VICKI IN AZ said...

Happy New Year and all the Love I have!! Dear Friend. I want you to know I am thinking of you and always sending my support and love. This is such a beautiful post full of tenderness and faith. Thank you for being an angel and for always shining your brilliant light.

April_optimist said...

You are definitely an angel and I love reading your posts. This time of year it IS hard to keep up with things and family does and should take precedence.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Oh, Mile! That is so sweet that you put a copy of that card up there and mentioned me. I feel so honored and touched!

I'm sorry I haven't been around. I got through Christmas, New Years and my son's birthday and then I just crashed--sick for three weeks! AAaaaccckk! But, I'm trying to get around to EVERY blogger on my blogroll. I started at the bottom and a working my way up so just now to the "C"'s.

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191