come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Evanescence My Immortal Live @ David Letterman Show

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave'

Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]

When you cried

I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream

I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand

through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

You used to captivate me

By your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

[Chorus]

20 comments:

Lily said...

Oh sweetie, I can relate to most of your post here. I had surgery about 6 weeks ago and ended up having a massive downward spiral almost resulting in hospitalization. It's amazing how much our emotional defenses are affected by our physical state. I had no ability to fight anything off emotionally and my mind was filled with evil.

As for your mom... I read your post and feel nothing but anger. Anger that an adult (even more one now than when you were a child) can act like that. It makes me so mad that there is no common sense. Forget maternal instincts.. COMMON SENSE! I know you are probably far from being angry (as I am in many things of my life that seem to anger other people) but when you get there, embrace it. You should be angry. You deserve every ounce of love and support and should not have to wonder what it is like.

LADYBUG said...

I guess Lily said it all. I've being reading you since 2008, and my question is: what makes you go back to the past after you, emotionally have out of it triumphant!. happy vs. sad, there must be a comfort zone in your pain that make you come back. please let go and let GOD. read the bible, find many places where Jesus says dont worry, I worry for you. please read Salm 27. Mile your pain is mine too because we learned to love you, like a family should.

LADYBUG said...

the songs are well written, but only reasure what you need to forget, the songs do to you what salt to a wound, you have to change that behavior, dont punish yourself forgive yourself, Jesus is waiting repentance, he died for your sins, that debt is taking care of, Jesus paid. change route.

陳智強 said...

人有兩眼一舌,是為了觀察倍於說話的緣故。............................................................

筱婷筱婷 said...

感謝予我如此動感的blog!..................................................................

蕙春蕙春 said...

人生中最重要的是要自尊、自愛、自立、自強、自信。..................................................

洪淑桓洪淑桓 said...

偶爾上來逛逛,下次不知是否還有緣再進來,先祝您平安順利!!!............................................................

魏江伶魏江伶 said...

單純喜歡你的部落格 留個言跟您問聲好~~............................................................

ju吳phe宇te佳ns said...

不要去想沒拿到的東西,多想想自己手裡所擁有的..................................................

Marj aka Thriver said...

This song has always had a huge impact on me, too.

I'm sorry you've been going through such a rough time. I hope you know I am thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. And always sending ((((((((((safe, warm, gentle hugs))))))))))

宮惠如宮惠如 said...

人應該做自己認為對的事,而不是一味跟著群眾的建議走。..................................................

思恬 said...

來給你加油打氣,祝福大家開開心心。 ............................................................

DaniloM_W志竹olff0615 said...

好的開始並不代表會成功,壞的開始並不代表是失敗..................................................

家唐銘 said...

人不能像動物一樣活著,而應該追求知識和美德............................................................

恩宛玲如 said...

好的開始並不代表會成功,壞的開始並不代表是失敗..................................................

家唐銘 said...

來塊巧克力吧~~心情會好哦~~...............................................................

承王蓁 said...

真正仁慈的人,會忘記他們做過的善行,他們全心投入現在的工作,過去的事已被遺忘。.................................................

家唐銘 said...

Cheek brings success.............................................................

凱v胡倫 said...

Drive carefully. It is not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker...................................................................

智黃黃黃元 said...

Man proposes, God disposes..................................................................

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.


this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.


mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.


please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.


this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.


Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥



What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191