I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave'
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus:]
When you cried
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream
I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand
through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
4 comments:
Oh sweetie, I can relate to most of your post here. I had surgery about 6 weeks ago and ended up having a massive downward spiral almost resulting in hospitalization. It's amazing how much our emotional defenses are affected by our physical state. I had no ability to fight anything off emotionally and my mind was filled with evil.
As for your mom... I read your post and feel nothing but anger. Anger that an adult (even more one now than when you were a child) can act like that. It makes me so mad that there is no common sense. Forget maternal instincts.. COMMON SENSE! I know you are probably far from being angry (as I am in many things of my life that seem to anger other people) but when you get there, embrace it. You should be angry. You deserve every ounce of love and support and should not have to wonder what it is like.
I guess Lily said it all. I've being reading you since 2008, and my question is: what makes you go back to the past after you, emotionally have out of it triumphant!. happy vs. sad, there must be a comfort zone in your pain that make you come back. please let go and let GOD. read the bible, find many places where Jesus says dont worry, I worry for you. please read Salm 27. Mile your pain is mine too because we learned to love you, like a family should.
the songs are well written, but only reasure what you need to forget, the songs do to you what salt to a wound, you have to change that behavior, dont punish yourself forgive yourself, Jesus is waiting repentance, he died for your sins, that debt is taking care of, Jesus paid. change route.
This song has always had a huge impact on me, too.
I'm sorry you've been going through such a rough time. I hope you know I am thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. And always sending ((((((((((safe, warm, gentle hugs))))))))))
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