i never expected to have so many wonderful people join me in my closet.
thank you for being here.
for the most part it has been a healing safe place...
but I have something that needs to be said.
...i have felt safe to share this place with a few family members,
and a few people have found me here on their own.
of my readers there are a VERY few family members.
if you have been here with me it is because you were invited
and trusted with the most deep feelings that i have.
i am candid.
i am honest.
i am vulnerable.
my pleading has NEVER changed.
if you know me please don't talk about what i share here with anyone.
call me, write me, talk to me but please don't talk about me.
i am an open book, a bleeding heart, and if you call me friend i will be with you in the guts of your life and mine forever.
if you hurt me,
i will forgive you and we can move forward.
if you hurt my kids, watch out.
lately i have not felt that I can come here and write because what i share here has been fodder for some to use against me.
i am now asking that you please respect me enough to stop talking or to not read my blog if you are going to use it for our own entertainment or for your own empowerment with me.
if you are better than me than good for you!
i can and will cheer you on in your successes in life.
i just want peace.
i want to be happy and i want happiness for everyone i dearly love,
and that does means YOU!
i don't enjoy conflict, i don't look for it.
i admit i have made my own mistakes and
i really am working on fixing any errors that i have
ability to fix.
but this last straw....you chose...
and i have been picking up the pieces.
I am done with it and moving forward.
If you are with me great.
If not, then my best wishes.
all is well,
it will get better than this!!!
but for now,
this is as good as it gets,
and it is good enough for us!
i will be back to write. this has always been about healing, and i am on the cusp of healing from yet another abandonment, another abuse.
another painful experience in my life, a betrayal and a unimaginable confusing mess.
thank you to YOU who have wondered where I am,
your love and care has been so much appreciated.
thank you for respecting that I am choosing to not speak ill
of this situation.
This too will pass and I have chosen to rise above it.
I sleep, I cry, and I pray and I know that it will be the best thing for us all in the end.
btw: yes, my mom hurt me.
yes, i have struggled, and yes, been angry.
and sincerely I have forgiven her.
Even forgiven the most recent frustration.
She is aware of my feelings
and she is aware of her weaknesses, and her STRENGTHS.
And she is NOT the problem in my life.
No one is the PROBLEM...there are situations we all have to work through, with each other.
But you can only work out the ones that are willing.
i am willing.