come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

it's late...or early?

i am up

cant sleep

no comfort to be found

the temptation to drink
to sleep pain and agony free
is unbearable

i hurt in places i didn't know had feeling

and so i am up



healing is such a long process,
a process that needs patience
in my weary state i am about out of patience
the thing is there is NOTHING i can do about it
i can not make my body heal any faster than it will
i can not run from it
and now i cant sleep it off

so....i am stuck, out of control,
trying to endure; with hope, faith, and patience

and i can't stop thinking about things so my mind and emotions are also a mess

so i am up

that's pretty much all i got


Just Be Real said...

You are an inspiration amongst your own pain. Thank you for sharing.

Paula said...

I read your comment over at Survivors can thrive. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. Maybe my last blog post about hope, progress and self love is motivating you (if that doesnt sound arrogant). Maybe you liek to check it out. Yet I do think it is great that in all your pain you reach out and seek support. Safe hug

Anonymous said...

Sending a prayer your way. Listen to your body and give it the time it needs. It's gonna be OK and I am glad you are still sober. maybe if you cannot get to a meeting, some friends can bring one to you. Mine did that for me when I was recuperating a couple of years ago.

sarah said...

I hurt for you...and you're right...healing is such a long process. You do're a fighter. Hang tight ok. Sarah

Anonymous said...


who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191