come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

when she cries

me cries:
it is not the first time,
and it wont be the last.

i am home, and physically well.
i had better mental emotional days,
but come on, it has been three days.

in three days i have lost something,
accepted loss,
experienced pain and anguish,
experienced peace and hope.
doubted acceptance, been afraid,

certain ups and downs to be expected.

i wrote during the night,
for hours,
and i am weary from crying,
tired because i am stubborn,
and sincerely angry today.

i remember this
January Ensign Magazine,
Boyd K. Packer:
it was meant to be that life
would be a challenge.
to suffer some anxiety,
some depression,
some disappointment,
even some failure is normal.
[we learn]
that if we have a good,
miserable day once in a while,
or several in a row,
to stand steady and face them.
things will straighten out.
there is great purpose in our struggle in life.

and so, with what i have left
i accept only this,
if it is a good miserable day today,
and even if tomorrow is a little difficult
i must stand strong.
how i stand strong right now
is by allowing others to take
care of me,
be patient and
do not try
to understand
Tomorrow will be a better day.
...and if not
maybe tomorrows morrow
will be.


Anonymous said...

Hugs and prayers are coming to you! Take it moment by moment and try to rest in His love.

Anonymous said...

Actions speak louder than words. ........................................

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191