Where else can I write my most immediate and intimate thoughts and feelings, and hear something better than the voices in my head.... confirming, questioning, supporting, pushing and elevating me to a better level than I am choosing to squall at.
It is here, in my closet. Thank you.
The tremendous support that you all give me and each other is really the most innovative healing process there is out there.
All the therapy in the world couldn't do for me what you each do.
I open my email, and there you are, whispering, questioning, healing me.
I think the most amazing thing is that each of you tell me that I have the strength, the power, the ability to be a better version of me than I am giving myself credit for. WOW. You make me realize that my potential is enough, and that I can do this. I am a survivor. Not a victim.
So, who am i today? Well, I am thinking about that. And by weeks end, I hope to define who I feel I am....
But for now, update: I have been writing email notes to my brother. Mostly asking him questions, answering a few. I have to tell you that my fear is subsiding a lot. And this may very well be the next level of my healing. I believe that I am undoing the fears that I have, I sense them unraveling before my eyes. I am not as afraid.
I think that in time....well, who knows what will come of it. I am just taking it one step, one moment at a time.
The past is the past.
"Worry not for the future,
the present is all thou hast,
the Future will soon be present,
the present will soon be past."
And, as far as depression, hmmmmm.
despondency, hopelessness, lack of courage, overwhelmed, grieved.I could use all those expressions to define me,
...what am I doing about it....
One day at a time,
One drawer at a time,
One closet at a time,
One step at a time,
One prayer at a time.