come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Sometimes things aren't what they seem. I suppose that if you take a look at someones family portrait you can make whatever assumptions you want. Families can be frozen in that moment in time looking pretty happy. That was never the case in my family portrait. There were always tear stained eyes, slight traces of bruises, and the darkness that deeply scarred my eyes...that is if you took a chance to look close enough.

We had our family portrait done just recently and it made me really ponder. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to be a part of something different.

As bad as things were I need to take the time to reflect on all that I have now. I allow myself to be so consumed sometimes...grieving all that was, grieving all that is lost....grieving things that can not be changed. I forget to delight in the moments of today, the moments that I am granted without hesitation, the beautiful moment of having a loving husband and beautiful, sweet, tender, and compassionate kids. I am spoiled, I need to be more thankful.

I am thankful. i MAY be struggling with some things, but I am thankful.

Happy Tuesday!


Zan said...

I too am glad you get to be a part of something different and that you got to break the cycle.
:) happy tuesday to you too!

DreamDancer said...

A portrait of love and unity... the family circle. Focus on it, cherish it. Blessings to you on this Tuesday :)

Marsha said...

Good post!

Just Be Real said...

Dear JIP this is a great post. Thank you dear one for sharing. ((((JIP))))

Prayer Girl said...






Steve E. said...

My post tonight is on gratitude, and I declare in it that I am undeserving of all the gifts which God has given me. Well, that is true. But with you, MILE, with YOU, I swear that you are the most deserving peep I know--and we do 'know' you!

And I thank God this moment for allowing you some great measure of happiness and sometimes peace.

Love, steveroni

VICKI IN AZ said...


sarah said...

Hey Mile 191, I'm with you. I too am soooo grateful for all the great things I have now. It's good to have your reminder. Thank you. Sarah

Lisa Marie said...

Snapshots in time speak just as much as pictures. Being open to those snapshots can give you so much love and joy, as you hve seen with your kids and husband. Bless you.

Colleen said...

This is a wonderful post. I am glad you are spoiled. You deserve it. Hugs and blessings.

April_optimist said...

Wise post. For me, reinforcing how good things are in the present has always been an important part of being able to allow myself to look at how bad it was in the past. (((((Hugs)))))

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191