i can't stand the sound,
your pain is painful and
it's tearing me down"
...i told dad you didn't mean
those nasty things you said...
this is my shelter....
growing up in
world war three...."
hurting...when will it go away?
my little boy prayed a week ago:
"Please help me to work hard
and work fast
so that I can have all my recesses."
i promised myself that I would ALWAYS remember this prayer,
and NEVER forget it.
it made such sense to me. he didn't ask God to do his work for him and just give him the blessing of all his recesses. he asked God to help him to WORK HARD and to WORK FAST....so that he could have his recesses.
he asked God to help him and he told God why....he wanted to have his recesses, ALL of them, and in his expression of FaiTh he stated help ME TO WORK....
a willingness to WORK....work HARD and work FAST....
How willing am I to work HARD and work FAST so that I get all my recesses in life. Seriously how many of us think about asking for the strength, the help to WORK!!! I think too many times we are so busy just asking for blessings to happen for us. We want things to just happen.
Nothing happens by chance. Nothing worthwhile anyhow. We work, and while we are working, anxiously engaged in good causes, we find our peace, our happiness, our strength, our HEALING....our recesses.
With all the thoughts I have been having lately...pondering my own process of healing, of overcoming fears, and letting go of my painful past.... i realize that until i anxiously engage myself in the WORK of healing, of honestly opening myself, letting the dam flood, that i am holding back on the blessing of RECESS in my life.
The definition of Recess is:
or halting from work....
the key word here is temporary
To Recover means to get back something that was lost or stolen. This felt so good to me to think that I could get back what was stolen from me. My childhood, my sense of peace, of being whole, healthy mentally and emotionally, and physically.
I then looked up the definition of WORK:
I find myself in a reflection of my past, present, and future here.
I have to work out my past, here in the present, so that in the future I can take pleasure in my recesses, with hope, healing and a feeling of wellness, of being whole, of Recovery.
I want to stop crying, to stop aching, to stop fretting about everything all of the time.
I desire to find a place for the pain that is so painful,
and take a recess from it, I want recovery.
I have the understanding that the pain will not just "go away",
but if I am willing to WORK....
so that I may fully understand
and enjoy the blessing of Recess.