broken things to mend

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have learned from church as an adult that you can be loved, you can be mended, you can be healed, having Faith in Jesus.


I have always felt as though they were talking about everyone else, not me.


I love my church. I love the people who come each Sunday, who put their arms around me; Who Love me. I know they do, I feel it, I want to be there each week, no matter how sad or broken I feel I never stop going. Even when I have been breaking the commandments, I still go. Even when I loose the light in my eyes, and people come up to me and ask me what's wrong. Even the day my Grandmother died, I went.


A talk was given during one of our conferences titled Broken Things to Mend, by Jeffrey R. Holland. I remember it was beautiful.


For Christmas this year I bought the book: Broken Things to Mend for my sister, and one for my mother. I went back and got one for me. I haven't read it yet, but feel that it will be a really good part of my healing process.


Today, missing my Grandmother very much, I got a surprise visit. My mom came by. Everyone loves surprises, but you know what I have told you about my mom. My childhood.


She came by, and it was good.


Let me tell you more. She brought with her little Santa bags. Bags she had sewn herself, to give us as Mrs. Claus bags. My Grandmother always played Mrs. Claus for us, it is by far my favorite Christmas memory ever. And I am missing her greatly, this healing is partially coming and necessary due to losing her in October. Something in me broke, my heart and more, so badly when she died. And when that broke, the rest of me fell apart.

Having my mom come today reminded me of something I learned in church. Faith. I gave my mom her book, and a journal, and a little white bracelet with the word Faith on it. Like the one my son gave to my grandmother years ago, something she wore everyday the rest of her life, and was buried with.


As my mom played Mrs. Claus today I watched her from the rocking chair that my Grandmothers Father built. She gave them the gifts, with no fancy dress, no singing of Here comes Santa Clause...just a sweet gift of a journal and some old fashioned candy, like Grandma.


As tears came to my eyes I realized I wasn't crying because I was sad or broken. I was crying because I was happy. I remembered that Life is great. Life is and will be eternal. Life is love, and prayer, and Hope, and Faith, Life is happy, and Families are Forever.


We believe this in our church. And I will be able to see my Grandmother again. I may be broken, but I am beginning to believe that Broken is Better. And that being broken I have the Faith to heal, to be renewed. To be whole.



part of that conference address says:
"He is saying to us, "Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going," He says, "we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness," He promises. "I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.""


Another part I love is:

Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs or gambling, or the pernicious contemporary plague of pornography? Is your marriage in trouble or your child in danger? Are you confused with gender identity or searching for self-esteem? Do you—or someone you love—face disease or depression or death? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."


In the Bible the woman who touched Christ’s garment and was healed is a wonderful example of faith, determination, and resoluteness. Her motives were pure. There was no hypocrisy or deception, as she hoped her actions would go unnoticed. She did not want to inconvenience the Master or disturb those listening to Him. The woman had spent all her income on physicians, expecting to be cured of a blood disease, but to no avail. With great faith, this sister disciple sought out Jesus and in the midst of a crowd “came behind him, and touched the border of his garment” and was healed. Jesus experienced the withdrawal of spiritual power. He inquired of His disciples, “Who touched me?” The disciples pointed to the multitude thronging about Him and suggested that it could be any number of persons. Jesus persisted, sensing the special person in His midst and the nature of the event. The woman then came forward. “Trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately.

“And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace” (see Luke 8:43–48).

And Finally the conference address says:
If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended.


Today, I can't help but think that by no accident do things happen. Even in my abuse I know there is power to heal and to mend. I know that while some of my experiences have been awful, most and many more, have been good.


I know that what I learn at my church is good, that I have been taught many wonderful things, that I have felt wonderful things, and that I have found peace in them. I know that Jesus Christ, whose birth we celebrate this year, is wonderful, and that he loves me. I know that the words of these men and women in our church are true, and loving and that they are inspired.

I seek to have the Faith to be whole, to be mended, and this time I want to have a choice, to choose the best parts of me to put back together. Actually, I quite believe today that I am looking forward, with Faith, to it!


Love and greetings, Merry Christmas, to you, my friends, who are with me on the way to my healing....I do pray that your holidays are safe, warm, healthy, and happiness be yours. Know that you are making a difference in my life, which is making a difference in my children's lives.


Love and gratitude to you!

me

How do I describe me today?

I am at what feels to be the bottom.

About two years ago, the things that I was really good at, began to suffer.

Being a good mom, being a kind mom. Being a friend.

I began to feel numb, and I stopped doing the things that matter.

I stopped walking with my kids, taking them to the park.

I stopped playing games.

I stopped cooking, baking, caring about eating. The kids have not gone hungry, but they have not had the care taking that they were used to.

I stopped tucking them in, reading with them.

I stopped coloring.

I began to sit, and stare.

I started crying at the drop of a hat.

I yelled, I taught my kids words that I would never want to hear them say.

I gave up on how I look, and on cleaning our home.

I stopped sorting and organizing.

Their homework doesn't get done. They fight more now. They talk back to me, and sometimes what they say is truly a trigger that they are not doing okay either.

They have seen me at my best. They don't know what to do with me now; at my worst.

They want their mom back, so do i.

insomnia

i know that if i try to sleep the dreams will come. i have a hard time sleeping and it makes the days hard. being tired, and a grouch. i feel like the grinch. i am going to try to write my feelings and then move on to gratitude.

i am thankful that i have a home to sleep,

to stay warm, food and clothes.

...

...basic, but i have gone without these things, and i truly am thankful.



tonight i have a lot on my mind. my mom is still homeless, and now she is going through typically unimaginable things. except i can imagine them, i have been there.



she said, this is killing me. i said to her, I WAS 9 years old. I survived....you will too.



then i wonder if is should take her in. give her an apartment we have, and bless her with the very things i am thankful for. then I remember, the abandonment, ...but have i forgiven.



i need some sleep. and to think and pray about these ramblings. there is so much to it. i will try to sleep and figure it out, in prayer, tomorrow.....today....





i wonder if the effects of being abandoned ever go away? and will i ever feel safe...





[sorry, no sunday funies...an apartment/condo building burned, and many people (80+) are displaced...i was helping with the Red Cross. I just didn't get to it.



By the way. The RED CROSS is in desperate need of donations, for homeless, for children, for disaster recovery. After watching them in action, they are amazing, they are angels.

If you have the means, find a Red Cross in your area and donate anything you can. Your time...see if you can be trained to assist, or just show up.

Volunteer: while I was there an angel helped me, and I was given the strength to continue to help those who were burdened by the disaster. Truly sad. Many of them lost everything, others have major damage. ..and all of them are homeless...won't be able to consider returning for a year. Awful



so I am thankful to be home, and I am going to try to sleep...

come what may...

i am sad tonight. i dont think that this is a good kind of sad. i broke down talking to my son and that was not good, although it made me cry and now i am going to let myself cry and go to bed.
i don't understand yet why i am hurting so bad, but something broke in me and i am not the same person that i was. i don't clean, i wear the same clothes day after day. i sleep all day and do nothing productive. i have stopped caring and stopped feeling. and tonight i am sad. i cancelled all the dental appointments for next week, i cancelled the surgery. i cant handle having to go anywhere and i cant think of my mom trying to come to the surgery. emotional disaster. i am so sad, and i miss my grandmas so much. it was bad enough to have one pass away recently, but then my grandma, my surrogate mom, my friend and mentor, my safety, passed and i cant seem to function. i sit and eat rocky road ice cream every night. right out of the gallon. i feel her there with me. that was her and my favorite thing to do. i know she is there. then tonight i started to apologize to my son for being such a horder, it bothers him, and he is trying to clean stuff up, and he threw away stuff that was good stuff. things that we can donate, and i broke. i told him that i was that child that desperatly needed one book, one toy for christmas, and here is my kid throwing away stuff, because he has everything, and he has never had to hurt or worry about having what he wants and needs. so he just throws GOOD stuff away, without thinking of donating. and he threw away a journal item, something precious to my younger son. who didn't feel he could tell his brother to stop throwing stuff away because he wanted to be cool. and he threw away something that my grandma gave me. and that made me break. i hurt so much. i began to cry and then i told him i don't know what is wrong with me, i know i am not the mom he remembers from a couple of years ago. that i am a mess, i told him that i miss grandma, that everything hurts, that i am to the point where i don't care about anything. i feel numb and broken. i was crying so hard, and then i told him that i dont give a fuck about anything. instead of getting surgery i want to get the tattoo that i have always wanted. i want to get xxoxoxxx, and a beautiful small rose. because of my grandma, but it is the worst thing I would do. she would take a switch to me if she were here. but she is not, so i will do it, and deal with her later. i guess that i just needed to write all of this down. i need to go to bed and finish crying. i need to let myself feel and deal with this, and then get up tomorrow, clean up my house, put up a tree and decorate. then i need to START shopping for christmas, it will come, come what may and love it.
my grandpa always says that, come what may.
so that is what i will do




this button links you to his talk, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

is an Elder in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

the talk is amazing, and if you get a chance, read it.

it does give comfort and peace, and is just what i needed right now.

love and hugs, and appreciation for your support of me.

thanks for reading my ramblings, even the hard stuff.

take care, and i will get back to reading everyone this weekend.

i have not been doing very well emotionally,

and sleeping alot.

avoiding alot.

sorry

no mistakes...

yes, i agree that

we are all made up of our experiences...

thanks everyone.

i do HOPE that this is not only helping me,

but helping you...you all are in my thoughts

... and yes, you are in my prayers.

i do not feel alone. thank you♥

brave is something
that you have
to be
in a bad situation,

but courage...


Courage is a choice.



courage is what you do
with the bad situation.



courage is an action!



courage brings healing,

courage is coming out of my closet,

out from under my bed,

sharing the awful thoughts in my head.



courage is in lifting a friend
when their down,

courage is sharing smile
when all they have is a frown.



courage is living
when all you want is to die.





i had to be brave to live in the past

but courage is what helps me

choose living at last.

no mistakes...
only a change of direction in the journey...

hope, love, peace in the path and comments: YOU

as i commented to a few of you who read me i realized that this is where i am finding my healing. through the web of friendship and support. my comment to steveroni was so profound to my healing and i really wanted to remind myself by posting this, that i am healing. (i hope it is okay for me to share, hope, wow - to think that is the name steveroni gave me.)

me, hope, to steveroni and prayer girl, who are there every step with prayers and thoughts:

Hey, i am back. I wanted to say thanks for the prayers and the love, i love my new name(s). hope and loive. so sweet.

thank you for being so kind. i am doing better than i thought, the holiday. even surrounded by the pain, we felt it together, as a family yesterday....and NOOO drinking. I couldn't believe it. I was such a pessimist, lost in the past.

We had the best holiday as a family, ever. Even with feeling the sadness of 20 years.

today i learned my uncle passed away last night. It was time for him. I am sad, but don't feel devistated. that is good.

I posted some awful stuff. i actually scheduled it to be posted, while I was out. Seeing it today hurt a lot. But not as much as I thought it would. I feel bad that it is there, for everyone to read, but the pain for me isn't as bad as in the past. i think that is healing. thanks for giving me a place to ramble on about my feelings today. and for the friendship via the web.

and thanks for the prayers at Mile 191. that was so thoughtful. I usually hold my breath as I pass them. to think that you, a stranger, would pray for me. and that you would think of me. means the world. thanks.

i didn't think that our holiday would go very well, with all the pain that comes from losing my foster mom 20 years ago. the day was better than i could have imagined. it started with my older sister calling me, crying, hurting about the loss of our mom. i told her how proud i was that she would express her pain, pain that has been stifled this long. i told her she wasn't alone, i would be there.

we cried, we talked, then we laughed, we danced, we ate, we played. it was amazing.

it showed me that by talking, by writing, by opening up about the hurt, the devistation, YOU CAN HEAL.

yesterday was good, no fighting. both my sisters, my brother, my dad, all the grandkids; we had an amazing day together. i am not trying to sound cheesy, but when you are used to painful, bad holidays, this was really a better day.

and the talking we did....which brings me to writing. as bad as my writing gets, the painful memories. I do have HOPE that it will heal me to no keep so much in my closet.

NEXT:

to patty after writing Thanksgiving Blues, which shows such strength with all she has been through.

me to her:

this is an amazing post. i especially love the quote about when it gets dark 
enough you can see the stars.

my posting is in the darkest point. and yet, as i am writing the stars i see are 
those of you who let me know that you are there and that i am not alone.

that is what i have felt, but now, after reading your post, i also feel more 
heavenly about it.

we are not alone. as hard as it is for me to write what i do, i am so thankful 
that i can, i can give it to God in a sense, and i can give it to those who God 
sent here to be my angels.

quote from her post [thanks for letting me borrow it]:
"When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars" Charles A. Beard

"If I so chose, I can regard everything that happens in my life as a gift from
which I can learn and grow. Today I will find something positive hidden within a
difficult situation and allow myself to be grateful. I may be surprised at how
much a little gratitude can help."

i have much to be thankful for.

FINALLY:

to amy, who gave me an award today. an award that made me realize that i can turn Mile, into Smile.

turning my mile, my hope, my healing into SMILE.
thanks, you gave me more than an award.

i will keep writing my story, but my hope for healing will come with more of a smile. thanks for you. little things that make you think, ponder, reflect and heal. those little things that you do become the really big things in my life that are helping me to heal. love ♥

comments are love through the lines. and as today i have found peace in the path that i am part of i appreciate your amazing words, and that i can be a part of your journeys as well.

here's to all of you, and a final thought from prayer girl, thanks:

God has the power to heal even the most horrific of experiences. It will take patience, persistence, and time on your part. I believe you have all of these. You do your part and GOD will do the rest.

there are kind people out there

We moved again. This time to a home. It was wonderful. I really made some friends.

I loved my leaders in my church group.
They loved their children so much.

I remember one of my girlfriends mothers was our leader. I remember her telling me that if there was ever a war she would gather her children together and protect them. That they would die together if need be, but that they would not be alone.

I will never forget thinking I want to be a mother like that.

After a while the home was too much money and we moved into a nice apartment. My mom worked at the K-Mart around the corner. I would go in to see her. There was another woman there who took a liking to me. Her kindness will never be forgotten. She once bought me a wardrobe of clothing for the next school year. She said she never saw a child look so sad, and so worn out. The clothing couldn't fix how i looked, but she wanted me to have something. What she gave me was my first clothing that weren’t hand me downs. What she gave me I didn't understand then; it was hope in humanity. I never knew someone could be so kind.



i couldn't put any more of my story with this post. it needs to just be about the kind people that i knew as a child.

i didn't have much interaction with extended family. i didn't see my dad more than a couple of times growing up.

i met a few people who were nice. coming from my home, most people i knew were nice, nice compared to what i knew.

but what i am talking about is KIND. kind is different than nice. kind is looking into someones eyes and knowing more than you see on the surface. kind is doing something for nothing.

when you are a child and you have to do awful things to have the essentials of even food and water, you are taken by surprise when someone does something for no reason.

i don't know what to do with kind. i always think that people are trying to manipulate me, or that they have an agenda, that i will be locked into something awful if i accept their kindness.

it is so hard to be so locked, like someone said: locked away so tight and there is no key to fixing or opening me up.

but these two women, they were genuinely kind. my leaders kindness was short known. short, but i remember her. short because we never lived anywhere for too long.

with beatings, and neglect, your neighbors figure you out, you have to run a lot.

the second women, the one who provided my first own clothing; she is still being kind. she is my bunny. that's what i call her. i miss her. she was warm, and kind. she knew i needed someone, and she did what little she could. but the little she could was the biggest thing in my life.

when we moved i kept writing her. she always wanted to know where i was, like keeping me safe; in a situation she could do nothing about. she felt that if she knew where i was i was safe.

she is the first person i opened up to about the abuse, through letters, after my mom abandoned me. she never shied away from caring about me. i will love her forever for being so kind.

i got a letter from her this last Christmas. she must be getting old. i hope to get to tell her one more time how much she meant to me.

the kindness of a stranger; they will never know how their actions, their words can change the life of a little girl. she didn't change my circumstances, but she did change my life. because i knew someone cared. thanks bunny.

DID YOU KNOW?

You can pop out a music player,

like mine at the bottom,

and listen to the music continuously

as you browse the web, as you write, as you do the dishes, cry, as you create.

Try it. Pop it out. click the pop out player,

bottom center,

and play all day if you want.

see if some of my music moves you in anyway.

Have a happy day, and take care! i am here, you are not alone.

courage

A Warrior's Journey

The fragility of your bearings

were perched on the wind

standing on the ledge of the heavens.

God held you tightly

infusing your veins with his nectar

his sweetness over powered the bitter.

You feared the darkness and the light

yet our prayer's vibrated your soul

lifting you into the spirit of the sky.

You sprouted wings today

as your body begins its renewal

bathed in healing promises.

You can give up the anxiety of endings

and share in the joy of letting go

for today is your new beginning.

God bless you!

broken

"When you're broken in a million little pieces,
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore.
Every tear falls down for a reason,
Don't you stop believing in yourself."

Lindsey Haun - Broken

Every piece will find a place:

Wake up to a sunny day,
not a cloud up in the sky.

Then it starts to rain,
my defenses hit the ground
And they shatter all around,
so open and exposed.

I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble.

When you're broken
in a million little pieces
And you're trying
but you can't hold on anymore.

Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken.

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up.

Hitting walls and getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are

No matter how much your heart is aching

There is beauty in the breaking, Yeah.

When you're broken
in a million little pieces.

And you're trying
but you can't hold on anymore.

Every tear falls down for a reason,
Don't you stop believing in yourself.

When you're broken,
Better days are gonna find you once again.

Every piece will find its place
When you're broken, when you're broken.

breaking the silence

i am trying so hard to speak out. i hope that if you are reading this, i am not making your pain worse. i saw that some of you who are writing to heal post a trigger warning, and yes, i understand why. i went to bed last night; after drawing my profile, after i read some, and i broke again. i felt my pain, i felt pain for you. i don't want to be silent. i have to say something. i have to write, my secrets, i want to shout them, to finally admit to myself that i have a reason to feel the way that i do inside. i have to break the silence. because this is no way to live.

everyone who meets me thinks i can do anything. i feel like i should be institutionalized, and yet, i function. i raise a family, i am a wife. i serve in my community, i volunteer at my kids school. i am going to school for my own education. i draw, i write, i read. i clean house, and yet i can never get out from under the clutter. i save everything because once someone took something from me and i could never get it back. i forget everything, i block my life out as i am living it. so if i hang on to everything, no one can take it from me, maybe i will not forget. it is an awful way to live. full of anxiety, depression, stress, and tears. i sleep in my fears, i wrestle with my own inadequecies. i hate living.

i am tired of being told i am doing great, you're fine. if that is so true then why don't i believe it. i don't feel fine, i feel broken.

All at once, the world can overwhelm me,

there's almost nothin' you could tell me,

that would ease my mind. ---jack johnson

which way do i run...

freaking out

I feel like I am freaking out, obsessed, and trying to answer the question,

HAVE I ABANDONED MySeLF

in the way that my mother did?

Am I trying to relive the pain? How do I reverse my thoughts?

I made a pLAyLiSt of music that I listen to.

All the songs have something to do with how I feel inside.

Maybe being here, in my closet, I can write the pain away.

courage

i remembered that i had seen this somewhere

and it goes really well with what i was saying about my own voice.

maybe that is why i was so drawn to it.

credit goes to a 3rd grader, somewhere out there
who painted and wrote this
and now i am wondering about her
is she okay

her words:
"Courage is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to muster up.
It can also be the most important
quality needed in a very scary situation.
This small, fragile sprout represents courage.
It takes a lot of courage for such a helpless shoot to become a plant.
It must brave the elements every day.
I wish I were as couragous as this little sprout."



me too.
when she said "it must brave the elements every day"
must, meaning to me that again, not optional,
and sometimes overwhelming,
but courage,
to choose to sprout,
to break the hard ground,
to grow toward the light,
even to expose yourself to more elements,
now the wind, the heat, the rain,
coldness of snow, and possible frost.
but the courage to do it,
to choose to grow.
i guess that is where i am right now.
trying to find my courage, my voice
and not wanting to feel so alone.
in a crowd, yet so alone.
loved, and yet so alone.
living lonely with the terrors in my mind.
in my closet, trying to break free

use your words

things i could blog about:

my past, of course, what's in my closet;
hope,
SPEAK out,
someone knows, i'm here.
letting go,
on my terms,
hanging on,
what it feels like to be dead.
whoa is me, compared to what.
spiritual, YES, I pray,
funnies, YES, I laugh,
feelings and healing,
honesty be, if you find me.
desperate for someone to see,
rock bottom,
no where else to go but up,
labels.
BLOGGING
blogged to death,
blogging in layers,
healed by blogging,
hiding,
disquised by my blog,
relocation,
help,
I'm blogging and I can't shut up,
blogging in real time,
today.
split personality,
blog fatality.
refuge to write, refuge to right
help, my brain is blogging.
you get my brave,
you get my smile,
you get my real.
use your words,
i'm trying.

a CHILD deSeRVEs to be LOVED

Things changed for my mom. A new man came into her life. I think he must have thought that we were rich and she would take care of him for life. Well part of that is true; she did take care of him. Like she had never taken care of anything before. My mother worked and sacrificed more for this man than she had anything ever before. She sacrificed me, my sisters and my brothers. She gave up on us, for him.

I knew something was going on really early in the relationship. My mother and father were still married, but this man was taking a unusual interest in my mother. He was supposed to be rebuilding parts of our house, but instead he was wreaking our lives and breaking apart our home like a wrecking ball with a path of destruction being all that it left.

I don’t blame her for looking for love. We all want someone to love us, to cherish us, and accept the worst things about us. I just can not imagine putting that love above the most precious part of life, my own children. It has become even harder for me to understand because I know what it is to love a child and sacrifice for them. And because I know what it is to love with passion and acceptance of a person. I do not believe and will never be convinced that she and my step-father had that kind of love. Therefore I can only conclude that as a little child I was not good enough to be loved by the very people who should have loved me [AND PROTECTED ME] the most.

not a victim anymore

Video link:


Hope and Healing, Be Strong!

the memories turns to fear
the fear turns to pain
the pain turns to tears.


the memories last forever.

something inside so strong...

What is a survivor anyway?

I had to go back to a blog I read earlier today.
Someone out there who writes how I feel.

If this is YOU reading ME, I am going to send this comment to you;
because I am wondering.

My brain won't stop tonight.

...in the tub tonight I was thinking, what is up with the word survivor?
everyone smiles at me and says, "you survived."
You are doing so great! SMILE, CHEESE, SMILE, BS BS


How come no one sees me looking back with a blank, sad stare.

Like when I was a kid and they saw my life through rose colored glasses.

So messed up.

Survivors are victims; trying to make it. Yes, I survived, but to do what, live with the victimization that I put on myself every day. my mind wont stop, my body memories aren't going away. i cry, i fall apart, i cant seem to handle simple daily tasks sometimes. the anxiety and depression just takes over.

One thing I am good at is faking that I am okay.

I seem to be pulling a lot off.

so here i am blogging to heal.

i will do something with this, but when people say Survivor to me, i don't get it.


It is like that word makes other people feel comfortable around me.

and i think that the Survivor (CBS) show has made it cool to be called a Survivor; society thinks that all it is about is going without food and water and looking destroyed on television for a season.

That is so unreal; unrealistic. [yes, i watch the show, every season]


summary:
To me a survivor is a victim disguised; trying to make it, trying to matter, trying to heal.

Are you okay today? I am worried about you. Please write if you can.

Come Into My Closet

come into my closet,
come under my bed,
where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past,
now, where do i start,
making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken,
falling fast-
needing comfort,
make it last.