come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


i remembered that i had seen this somewhere
and it goes really well with what i was saying about my own voice.
maybe that is why i was so drawn to it.

credit goes to a 3rd grader, somewhere out there
who painted and wrote this
and now i am wondering about her
is she okay

her words:
"Courage is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to muster up.
It can also be the most important
quality needed in a very scary situation.
This small, fragile sprout represents courage.
It takes a lot of courage for such a helpless shoot to become a plant.
It must brave the elements every day.
I wish I were as couragous as this little sprout."

me too.
when she said "it must brave the elements every day"
must, meaning to me that again, not optional,
and sometimes overwhelming,
but courage,
to choose to sprout,
to break the hard ground,
to grow toward the light,
even to expose yourself to more elements,
now the wind, the heat, the rain,
coldness of snow, and possible frost.
but the courage to do it,
to choose to grow.
i guess that is where i am right now.
trying to find my courage, my voice
and not wanting to feel so alone.
in a crowd, yet so alone.
loved, and yet so alone.
living lonely with the terrors in my mind.
in my closet, trying to break free

No comments:

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191