everyone who meets me thinks i can do anything. i feel like i should be institutionalized, and yet, i function. i raise a family, i am a wife. i serve in my community, i volunteer at my kids school. i am going to school for my own education. i draw, i write, i read. i clean house, and yet i can never get out from under the clutter. i save everything because once someone took something from me and i could never get it back. i forget everything, i block my life out as i am living it. so if i hang on to everything, no one can take it from me, maybe i will not forget. it is an awful way to live. full of anxiety, depression, stress, and tears. i sleep in my fears, i wrestle with my own inadequecies. i hate living.
i am tired of being told i am doing great, you're fine. if that is so true then why don't i believe it. i don't feel fine, i feel broken.
All at once, the world can overwhelm me,
there's almost nothin' you could tell me,
that would ease my mind. ---jack johnson
which way do i run...