come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

easy silence

Do you ever go to someones blog and just stay there for a while?

Visit, hang out, watch their videos, listen to their playlists....

peoples music tells a lot about them.

mine does



if you listen to my music, either Mr. B and Me
[playlist at the bottom]


or my closet...[playlist at the side]
if you are here, want to read,
want to listen to the music...
pop out the player,
[click the pop out button
on the bottom of the player ♥]

then the music wont be
interrupted all the time
as you travel my pages...





my playlists: both were created
with my open heart bleeding
with passion, emotion, truth.

they are part of my resume. who i feel i am, i was, i wish.





Today: today i am having a hard time,
listening to the voices in my head,
struggling with my inner fight,

to stay away from the negative

the strangling agony of loneliness
that I feel in a crowd.


will everything be fine????

what about those I love???

why do I have to hurt so bad


I keep telling myself to hang on, stay strong...
what is wrong with me...






I put the easy silence video on here....for a while....
[click on the video
to listen to the music]




this video/song means much to me

as i drove to date night, uncontrollable sobbing......
somehow Mr. B was able to calm me
thank God for him

thank God for him






he certainly does keep the world at bay....

for me.

why?


children loose their youth to soon
watching war made us immune

i've got all the world to loose

i just want to hold on to the easy silence

the peaceful quiet that you create for me

the easy silence



please, can the war in my head just cease.
please, can those i love have peace.
please, can i somehow have hope to ease....

their pain.

7 comments:

Just Be Real said...

Precious ones, I am so sorry you are struggling with those voices. May they calm down and go away for your peace.

Blessings and much ((((safe hugs))))

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

God be with you and show you big bright signs of his work and his love in your life!

((((HUG))))

Prayer Girl said...

God bless you.

I am thankful that God has put your husband in your life - one who can lead you to that "easy silence" when you so desperately need it.

I know that prayer is powerful and I know that your readers will be joining in prayer for you.

Trust and believe that God hears these prayers and your pain will pass.

Prayer Girl

Barbaloot said...

Sometimes I think music is the best way to heal, or escape. I hope it can help you find the peace you need.

Saving Grace said...

I hear myself in your words...it's been a year since I have felt this alone. I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way now...if I could, I would take it away, I would quiet those voices for you...but I know that I can't. I can just sit here, with you, and listen, to whatever you have to say...even if it is *silence*

My best~ Grace

SapphireDreams said...

Wow..I so know how you are feeling. I too feel like Im in the midst of the storm..Just watching things pass me by as I sit in silence. Music does say a lot about a person. I know that I have different playlist for when Im feeling good, bad, sad, mad....etc
I am here with many of the same feelings. Just know that Im here to listen with you. Ok.

Alanis Rae said...

I spend a lot of time just wandering blogs... I've listened to the music in your closet many, many times. It speaks so much.

"The strangling agony of loneliness
that I feel in a crowd." I could have written that myself. I'm here, too. I'll sit and listen with everyone else... we're all here for you, no matter what. <3

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.


this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.


mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.


please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.


this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.


Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥



What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191