come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Monday, May 4, 2009

My Son's Baptism

What a beautiful day for our son!
He chose to be baptized.
I say CHOSE, because even
at eight years old
in our church
they choose, or don't choose.

The night before he wasn't sure,
I told him that he didn't have to
,
and that choosing to be baptized
only meant that he believed that
his Father in Heaven loves him.

That he could make mistakes,
he could be forgiven,
and that he was part of
a group of people

who believed the same things.

He slept on it.

I am writing these things because
I am truly full in heart today.

This day was about our son.


But here "in my closet",
I come to write about me.

I enjoyed the day,
with my family,
and some wonderful friends.


But there were TOO many missing.

My loved ones,
those who have been there for me.

You!

My sister,
my cousin,
...


So, here, I grieve, missing you.

It was a beautiful day.

Yet, I cried a lot.
I cried Sunday, all day...
my heart is overflowing.
This picture is me with my sisters,
three of them.
Missing is my sweet baby sister,
missing is my cousin, 1427.17--

Days, when I am wistful
for those who are
not here...

sister, cousin
Grandma's--

Grandma.

I miss you. I love you.

This picture was taken following
our church meetings.

My son was tired,
he was tender.

He and I had tears.
And looking into his eyes,
the only solution
was to snuggle.

A nap,
a moment of peace,
together.

He is amazing,
and it is for him,
my baby,
my oldest son,
my daughter,
my middle boy
my sweet husband....

....my life, laughter
light, love of living.

...for them, I choose to heal.
For me, I choose to heal.

7 comments:

Cat said...

Beautiful words and pictures. What a wonderful moment captured in time.

Just Be Real said...

Mile, what beautiful and cherished pictures you have shared here. I am so very glad that you did and shared a bit about you family. Thank you so much. Blessings dear one!!

Steve E. said...

Every few days--or weeks--I choose a background photo for my computer. Today is time for a change...and your "family" photo is now in front of me every morning first thing.

Thank you Soooo much for putting up those pictures, it gives me/ua a real idea what you all look like.

You and your daughter across the table from four men! And that's AMEN!

Prayer Girl said...

What a beautiful blog.

What a beautiful moment in time.

I believe the spirits of those who were not able to be there with you were, in God's mysterious way, present at this blessed event.

Prayer Girl

1427.17 said...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO,
from grandma

Colleen said...

Beautiful post. Beautiful pictures. Thanks for sharing.

VICKI IN AZ said...

Mile you are so pretty!!
Your family is gorgeous.

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.


this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.


mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.


please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.


this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.


Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥



What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191