come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

thanks for reading me:

after reading this post - it will all be okay in the morning, you gave me so much hope i had to share my gratitude.

thank you all so much. i never expected that i would find the support that i am getting here.

i am looking for a therapist, but nothing will ever come close to the kindness that i am experiencing here as you read and give me such love and support.

i do have HOPE. yes, thank you, i do.

i didn't when i started this. it was out of desperation, and tears. and i sat down, created the account, wrote that poem, and cried the rest of the day.

everything felt dark, and lonely. nothing could feel worse, i thought. and i had been through a lot.

broken, despair, just complete giving in finally to the pain.

and not giving in to anything else that would take it away, for i have come to know any temporary happy leaves me raw and in worse despair.

so thanks. i am finding my way out of the darkness, and you all are part of my healing now, my journey.

i feel like you all deserve an award, something not invented yet. something really cool.

all i have to give you is my thanks, and in my prayers, i hope that you feel my gratitude, a hug, and a moment when you KNOW that i thank you. i pray He will let you know, with some comfort to you in all that you are all going through. a warm feeling of love.

and this ♥ to and thanks. my husband thanks you too, and if my kids knew...they would thank you. they want their mommy back, and i have not been the mommy they have always known  since i began this journey accepting my past and leaving it there so that i can embrace the future.



steveroni said...

Hope, OUR AWARD IS YOUR DAILY BLOG! I had to shout, to be sure you heard. It
ia an HONOR to read your story, to follow your climb from desperation to eventual HOPE.

It gives me power, courage, and strength--the things we write that you HAVE--in just writing those thoughts which have made your brain their home.

And so we pray for you, to our God, or The Goddess, or our Higher Power. I have a vision (not really, ya know, just a strong feeling, a premonition), that one day all will be well with you and your family, and you will be a HAPPY person.
Love, from

Shadow said...

with your attitude, strength and courage, you will get through this. i already see a shiny new sparkling beautiful person. i have a lot of admiration for you! lotsa love!

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Sorry I didn't comment earlier, you know hope and faith is all that has carried me for a long time...i hope that you find that strength in your heart...we are oh so here for you! You'll make it, just keep walking!

Psych Client said...

I love the first song on your playlist a lot. I'll be listening to the rest today!

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191