come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Friday, December 19, 2008

when your basket breaks

I had to read my story to my Father.

He cried, I cried.

He begged forgiveness for not protecting us, for not coming for us.

He lives now with the pain of all we were tormented with.

Then my stepmother. For her and few others who I have shared this story with, she was sickened, defiled by the details of abuse and the subject of abuse.

It is truly hard for others to even imagine the degree of torment that children suffer through daily.

And the realization that we continue to suffer for the extent of their lives; for this kind of abuse never leaves a person. It remains a part of who you are for life.

There comes a point in therapy when you just have to take a break. I did.

I suppose that it was good timing. I was healing.

I never expected things to bottom out, but they did.

4 comments:

PRAYER GIRL said...

God is in charge of your healing. God's ways are perfect.

I have missed reading you for a few days so I'm catching up. Glad to be back.

God can bring good out of evil, can heal you, and can help others through you if you let Him. And you do let Him by writing this blog. I'm a prayer warrior "FOR YOU"!

You are beautiful!

LarryG said...

take your time.
prayers.

steveroni said...

Father Time waits for NO man...but he does wait for abused children and battered women. He gives them all the time they need, to heal, to help others during the healing, and to learn to accept FROM others, their assistance, their support, their prayers, and their hugs of safety nets cast around your own self.

I wanna look down, see what I've missed!

April_optimist said...

You're creating new bonds with your father. You're creating NOW the life and love you always deserved. It comes slowly but it gets better as we realize things can be different than they were before.

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.


this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.


mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.


please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.


this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.


Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥



What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191