come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Monday, December 1, 2008


why can't i seem to have the same strength for myself:

i am amazed at the strength that i read in your words. you share something so difficult and have been through your share of pain, yet you have so much hope, thanks for being so brave.

my son told me bravery is what you have to be in a bad situation, but courage is a choice you make to deal with the bad situations we all are given in this life. you certainly have a great deal of courage.

have the courage also to get help. i felt so strong myself coming out of really traumatic circumstances, which began to haunt and tear me apart as i got older, had my own children, trying to deal with stresses of raising a family. i definitely feel that if you can find the right help you will have a way of balancing the pain of the past with the pressures of the future.

take care of you. and keep holding onto hope.


notice how i am encouraging her to get HELP., the right help, the help that i have lost hope in for myself.

after i read the response that i posted to this person, only 17, coming out of traumatic childhood circumstances, i thought, now why can't i believe this for myself.

okay. something more for me to think about. hmmmm.


steveroni said...

Sometimes healing and change come slowly, but...

Hope springs eternal in the human breast; -Alexander Pope,
An Essay on Man, Epistle I, 1733

So, I guess I'll just say, "Hang on to Hope", and from there will come the other when "Hope" is ready. Ready to let a Higher Power (God) have her past horror-flled life--so Hope can begin anew, willing, refreshed, free.

(I write too much--just like I talk)

Shadow said...

i have found for myself, that helping others comes easy, i can recognise warning signs, see a way through it for them, encourage and guide along the way.

for myself? well now that is a different ballgame altogether... even after reading, and much more re-reading, things don't tend to sink in, up until such time as i've talked to someone about it, and gotten some sort of confirmation that what i'm thinking and reading is actually the right thing. but, that's my co-dependency coming through. unvalueing the self. shit. so very true.

you just keep your hope and courage going!

oh, and i guessed there were pieces of text missing (your honesty piece) so i highlighted it, and lo and behold, i found the 'hidden' writing, heee heee heee

1427.17 said...

strong and beautiful words

hope and courage as suggested will keep you going and give you tools to heal

you are worth it--may you one day believe you are

Psych Client said...

Aw, I understand Mile. I myself find it quite easy to help other people. I find that listening and talking them through their feelings can help me understand some of mine. At a minimum, it tells me that I am not alone.

At my reunion this past weekend, there is the guy that I was very good friends with. Drugs and alcohol have ravaged his brain.

He was argumentative and very touchy and angry. he used to be the popular guy and so damn cute.

He started saying "I'm sick, I'm sick okay...". he was definitely crying out. Everyone was making fun of him, making comments.

I couldn't stand it. I told a few of them that it must be nice to go through life laughing in the face of someone's pain.

I told them that perhaps they should consider that our friend is in pain, real pain. i went over to him and put my arm around him and told him that he will be okay. I reminded him of some of his funny antics in high school. I could tell I reached him for a few minutes.

I told him that the real person he wants to be is there just hold on.

He hugged me so tight I thought he'd break my ribs...pain is personal and each person handles it differently.

I can tell by the shape he was in, he may not be around at the next reunion. That tears me up inside. It's also a shame that the people he thought were his friends, couldn't manage to say what I did. It wasn't much but I could tell it helped.

You are very brave and strong Mile. Don't be hard on yourself.


mile191 said...

psych client, i am sorry for your friend, and you that had to be so hard for you. life hurts, a lot sometimes. it is nice when someone is there for you. thank you for being there for him. take care. i hope you are doing okay. mile

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191