come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

from my Mr. B

Mr. B is my hunny.

He is the man who loves me through all the darkness.
He crawls into the corner of my closet and holds and hangs onto me when I feel the edge of spiritual death, of physical mourning, the pain that grasps me and clings in my mind.

The death of my feelings; of my hopes, my dreams.
He pulls me through and time and time again he comforts me, forgetting the last time. Only being with me, in the moment that is now.

Loving me. Remembering not all that I have put him through; but light and love offering me. I am blessed.

We celebrate 16 years on Friday!
I have been writing our story: the Legend of Mr. B.

And tonight, I give him this, these lyrics
could have been written on my heart;
are now being written in ours; together.

Here's to another 16 plus years:

Lyrics to All I Ask of You: [from Phantom of the Opera]

No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears
I'm here, nothing can harm you
my words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you...

Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime...
Say you need me with you now and always...
Promise me that all you say is true
that's all I ask of you

Let me be your shelter
let me be your light
You're safe, No one will find you
your fears are far behind you...

All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me..

Then say you'll share with me
one love, one lifetime
let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you...
anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, that's all I ask of you...

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...
Share each day with me,
each night, each morning...
Say you love me...

You know I do...

Love me - that's all I ask of you
Anywhere you go let me go too
Love me - that's all I ask of you...

this is how I feel, now, in this moment and time. I am needing his shelter, from my past, from my mind, my fear, my nightmares.

He is my security, my hope, my shelter.


[for now my other playlist
is all the way at the bottom.

the following 16 songs are dear to me,
to our relationship.

TO 16 years!

I want to enjoy the reflection,
the past;

and the hope for a future,
our journey;

our rhapsody, our love...
and the celebration
of being two who are becoming one.]


Mona said...

Great tribute to the one who deserves it!

Shadow said...

you are indeed fortunate to have found someone who so understands you, and above all, supports you. 16 years is magical. celebrate!!!!

Tigger :) said...

How awesome! Happy 16 years!
♥ Hugs :)

G-Man said...

I envy couples that are still in love. Congratulations on this milestone. Thanks for visiting today, you are always welcome to stop by, hopefully you'll always find a smile....Galen

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191