come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

freaking out

I feel like I am freaking out, obsessed, and trying to answer the question,
HAVE I ABANDONED MySeLF
in the way that my mother did?

Am I trying to relive the pain? How do I reverse my thoughts?

I made a pLAyLiSt of music that I listen to.

All the songs have something to do with how I feel inside.

Maybe being here, in my closet, I can write the pain away.
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2 comments:

Amysplash said...

i was hurt and abandoned byy my mom to she hurt me bad and i have alittle girl that lives inside of me and wonders why and she hurts she longs for a mom to love her and hug her and cuddle her i say yes write from inside your closet where you are safe write your feelings and get them out like i wrote today in my poem i will no longer be the keeper of secrets we can do this together i am here for you write to me anytime i care and have been there i understand

safe hugs amy

NO LONGER THE KEEPER OF SECRETS keep telling yourself this write it out if you have to

November 20, 2008 at 6:21 PM
mile191 said...

i liked your poem. thanks for writing. i agree with what you said. i am sorry about your mom, and the hurt you are feeling.

November 21, 2008 at 7:06 AM

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who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥



What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191