there are kind people out there

We moved again. This time to a home. It was wonderful. I really made some friends.

I loved my leaders in my church group.
They loved their children so much.

I remember one of my girlfriends mothers was our leader. I remember her telling me that if there was ever a war she would gather her children together and protect them. That they would die together if need be, but that they would not be alone.

I will never forget thinking I want to be a mother like that.

After a while the home was too much money and we moved into a nice apartment. My mom worked at the K-Mart around the corner. I would go in to see her. There was another woman there who took a liking to me. Her kindness will never be forgotten. She once bought me a wardrobe of clothing for the next school year. She said she never saw a child look so sad, and so worn out. The clothing couldn't fix how i looked, but she wanted me to have something. What she gave me was my first clothing that weren’t hand me downs. What she gave me I didn't understand then; it was hope in humanity. I never knew someone could be so kind.



i couldn't put any more of my story with this post. it needs to just be about the kind people that i knew as a child.

i didn't have much interaction with extended family. i didn't see my dad more than a couple of times growing up.

i met a few people who were nice. coming from my home, most people i knew were nice, nice compared to what i knew.

but what i am talking about is KIND. kind is different than nice. kind is looking into someones eyes and knowing more than you see on the surface. kind is doing something for nothing.

when you are a child and you have to do awful things to have the essentials of even food and water, you are taken by surprise when someone does something for no reason.

i don't know what to do with kind. i always think that people are trying to manipulate me, or that they have an agenda, that i will be locked into something awful if i accept their kindness.

it is so hard to be so locked, like someone said: locked away so tight and there is no key to fixing or opening me up.

but these two women, they were genuinely kind. my leaders kindness was short known. short, but i remember her. short because we never lived anywhere for too long.

with beatings, and neglect, your neighbors figure you out, you have to run a lot.

the second women, the one who provided my first own clothing; she is still being kind. she is my bunny. that's what i call her. i miss her. she was warm, and kind. she knew i needed someone, and she did what little she could. but the little she could was the biggest thing in my life.

when we moved i kept writing her. she always wanted to know where i was, like keeping me safe; in a situation she could do nothing about. she felt that if she knew where i was i was safe.

she is the first person i opened up to about the abuse, through letters, after my mom abandoned me. she never shied away from caring about me. i will love her forever for being so kind.

i got a letter from her this last Christmas. she must be getting old. i hope to get to tell her one more time how much she meant to me.

the kindness of a stranger; they will never know how their actions, their words can change the life of a little girl. she didn't change my circumstances, but she did change my life. because i knew someone cared. thanks bunny.