come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

a little nerdie

just enjoyed a scout meeting with my oldest son.
don't get me wrong, i usually do enjoy scouting; not just for my scouts.

i love the clapping, i love the cheers, i love seeing children acknowledged for accomplishments.

but what i love most is knowing that there is a program worthwhile for my sons to participate in where grown men will share feelings and thoughts that i am quite certain i would not get into my sons head alone.

Thank you leaders.

tonight the scoutmasters minute went as such.

I will write in first person, as he spoke it, but it is not verbatim.

"I was married a couple of years ago. My father in law is a biologist. I have always listened to him talk about biology things that are just a little nerdy.

Most recently he has shared with my wife and I about bird watching. Sound a little nerdy...probably because it is.

You get your little book of birds, your old tape recorder of bird sounds, your binoculars and you watch...For birds. Thats it.

You look for their colors, their flight patters, listen for their songs.

Yep, nerdy.

Well most recently I learned something about this.

I went to a campground this past summer. We hiked, we played, we camped. It was awesome.

Later in the year we were assigned to do a bird watch at the very same campground. Yep, me, a bird watch.

Sound a little nerdy. Yep. I got my book of birds, I got a tape recorder of bird sounds, and I got my binoculars and we went back to that same campground.

And do you know what. We looked for birds.

And do you know what. WE FOUND BIRDS.

Yep, and guess what else. I had the most amazing time, even a much better time than I ever had before.

I had something I was looking for and I found it.

What I learned from that experience is the same in life.

If you know what you are looking for, you WILL FIND IT.
As is with the gospel of Jesus Christ. He has given us a little bit of instruction, and a way to find Him,

and if you look for Him in life, you will find Him.

Whatever you look for in life, you will find."

Amen to that.
I don't mind being a little nerdie once in a while.
It looks good on me. And it feels good in me.


Shadow said...

please come get some lemonade over here...

Shadow said...

that is so true. and so beautifully told. thanks for sharing that. nerdy? so what...

Cat said...

I embrace the nerd in me - its a beautiful part of who I am - and I am so glad not to be the only nerd bearing soul blogging!


Prayer Girl said...

Thanks Hope,
Beautiful post and gorgeous pictures. I love the message of what you wrote and you, the messenger.

I'm actually feeling better this morning.

Thanks for all your kind comments over the last few days. I am grateful.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Most people don't know this about me: I'm a nerdy bird watcher! I don't talk about it much, but I've actually turned a few people on to birding that I never thought would get into it (my husband, for example). Hee hee!

Thanks for the beautiful nature photographs. Lovely!

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191