come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

not much

Not sure that I have much to write.
I can't sleep.
Insomnia has a hold of my head and I am stuck; awake.

I wish for rest to come.

Hope that this finds everyone having success in the New Year.

I do feel so much gratitude for the friendship and support that I have recieved.

I hope to be back to blogging as the week comes.
I just haven't felt up to it.
Thank you all who check in on me.
I do appreciate you.

Hey, how about some questions?
Steveroni did an interview post.
It was fun to read.
What do you all want to know from me?

I don't know quite what to write about these days....I feel kind of numb emotionally, and I am not sure that I like this feeling.

I know, medication and help, suppose to be good for you, but I don't think I like it.

I like feeling my life, I like feeling MY feelings.

I knew this would happen, and I don't know if I can keep it up.
I will keep getting help,
I just don't know about the Meds.

So, ask away.
Give me something to write about.
Thanks ahead of time. ....oh, and happy sabbath.

I think I should find a funny to post.
My Sunday Funnies.
I have really been off haven't I.
Well, heres to Sunday, and to you, love and hugs.
♥, Hope.
Posted by at

4 comments:

One Prayer Girl said...

Hi Hope,
It is wonderful to hear from you.

I'll be praying for your speedy recovery and that the results of your tests will have a good outcome.

Life happens in God's timing, not ours. So....blog when you can, read when you can, accept the love and prayers coming your way from the blogosphere.

So glad to know you are receiving professional help. KUTGW!!!

January 11, 2009 at 5:19 AM
Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I just had surgery last weekend as well.... it was emergency surgery and I'm having a hard time getting back to blogging as well...

what are 10 things you never told anyone? (This can be pretty simple like I noticed a lizard resting on a sun baked wall today)

January 11, 2009 at 6:39 AM
LADYBUG said...

With professional help, isn't that you suppose to feel the difference?. Try to focus of simple life experiences, like nature in all forms, look for God in people you get in contact a stores, post office, any place. Smile to people you don't know, anything to put out to the world multiplies and comeback to you, so smile, smile, smile. Don't push yourself to write. how many children do you have? how old are they? I am sure they are the sunshine on your life, the better you feel, the more you will see it.

January 11, 2009 at 6:28 PM
Marj aka Thriver said...

I usually resist meds quite a bit myself. I have also known a lot of insomnia over the years. Have you tried anything natural? I have a lot of luck with velerian for sleep. Also omega 3 fish oil seems to help my depression.

I wish you peace and rest.

January 13, 2009 at 11:53 AM

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who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥



What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191