it's been a while since i have written much.
i came to a good place in my journey,
and i feel a lot of hope.
i accepted help.
professional help.
probably because,
no actually BECAUSE of so many of you.
i came to a good place in my journey,
and i feel a lot of hope.
i accepted help.
professional help.
probably because,
no actually BECAUSE of so many of you.
you friends here who have given me hope
and have given me a desire to seek help,
and helped me to realize that I am worth the help.
I know I began this journey to feel like I have a voice,
to speak out and to be empowered by my words and my story.
Because by writing about it I feel it is no longer a secret.
And I have felt like it doesn't make me a broken mess.
Broken maybe, but not a mess.
I always felt that if anyone knew
the real truth that they would not be able to like me,
or that it would be like having the plague;
they might still like me but have to avoid me
because whatever it was it was really bad.
to speak out and to be empowered by my words and my story.
Because by writing about it I feel it is no longer a secret.
And I have felt like it doesn't make me a broken mess.
Broken maybe, but not a mess.
I always felt that if anyone knew
the real truth that they would not be able to like me,
or that it would be like having the plague;
they might still like me but have to avoid me
because whatever it was it was really bad.
I don't feel like that anymore.
Today I just wanted to write to say, I am still here.
I am not sure that I have much to say today.
But I needed to say thanks.
Thanks for still checking on me,
even though right now the rut I am in doesn't have words.
I am not sure that I have much to say today.
But I needed to say thanks.
Thanks for still checking on me,
even though right now the rut I am in doesn't have words.
THanKS! ♥
12 comments:
Well..that is what it is about right? We are here to voice our voices and be heard, or not - to at the VERY least .. have it written out for ourselves to analyze. Never-mind the judgment by some.. it's the healing words from others. We cannot see ourselves sometimes, until we have seen how we are perceived. Glad you had some good times in your time away from this blog. You got this! See you on the next post!
Hey, also come on over and check out my new blog endeavor -
humanus augmentis It is a new blog for tech-gadget fans and the like... and as always.. see you back over at
con·tin·u·um. follow Thanks for following :)
Hi Mile, I am glad to hear from you. I have read all blogs from your book. From the book EAT PRAY LOVE I learn that we can get rid of memories because that will be like erasing part of our life, but in the book she has spiritual encounters where she learn that she has to put all those memories in a part of her brain where she talk to these litle devils, tell them to leave you alone, that you dont need them anymore, that they will stay in this safe place forever, they dont need to hunt you all the time like neglected children because they are y a good place, and just continue with your life. its interesting, I tried, it works!. Mile, if you could handle that, you can handle anything! it wasnt your fault, but fogive yourself. God be with you in the process.
I'm sorry, I meant to say "we can not get rid of memories"
Love the poem. I've heard it said that change always looks and feels like a mess in the middle of it. It's only when we get to the end of the process that we can see how that mess was really the necessary steps to where we are going to be.
Sometimes you gotta "burn before you're mellow..." SO burn baby burn..and get through it.. you can rise from the from the ashes with a fresh perspective after. Take care of yourself and you will heal.
Congratulations on taking a big step in self care. I am here if you need me. It's not an easy road. Nothing worth it ever is, yadda, yadda. God, some days I just feel like, would you just get OVER it already Patty!?! Then I question myself and wonder if I did the right thing by "telling." Then I realize that, yes, I did, that was the first baby step. Now the rubber is trying to meet the road and it has been a bitch, and even though I have felt like giving up, I won't. It may very well take the rest of my life, however long that is going to be, but I don't care. I am not giving up! I won't if you won't. OK? Here with you in spirit. Patty
Well, now that my eyes are getting slightly wet (crying), reading your post (Hope!) I am so happy for you, receiving help. It has got to be nothing less than good.
And I will go to a few meetings tomorrow, knowing that I have something positive to say to help someone who IS where you WERE.
I'm glad I did not go to bed before reading your blog.
But it is sure time NOW...Good night.
Steve E.
((((Hugs)))) to you my friend...
*Strong and Determined*
thanks everyone....
it's good to hear from you again. i'm glad you are in a more peaceful place. and you are always a pleasure to read and to know. we all have 'truths' we'd rather not have, doesn't mean we are lesser people for it. we are who we are because of them. and i like you just the way you are.
I'm glad you're doing well. And I'm very proud of you for reaching out and getting the help you need and deserve.
and I am so glad you are still here.
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