come into my closet, come under my bed, where you'll find me hiding,
the fear in my head.

abuse in the past, now, where do i start, making my future,
healing my heart.

crushed, and broken, falling fast-
needing comfort, make it last.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


okay, so i have been in a rut for a while and i am dealing with being REALLY sad, like beyond just having a bad day kind of sad. The kind where nothing feels good or right and you just sit for hours not caring about anything. the worst kind of sad I have ever felt, which blows because I was feeling pretty good. this sadness means to me that something is either working really hard on me, or that nothing is working, ie, the help i have been going for. i just feel like nothing. hmmmm. i can't even really think of words to write. but i am still here, and still trying to do better each day, and that part feels okay. so i will take time to read everyone tomorrow, and go from there. thanks for being here, for reading, and for the supportive comments. i do care about you and will be by to read how you are all doing. thanks. mile 191


Mena said...

take your time and feel better, we;re all here for you


Prayer Girl said...

As has been written and it may sound trite, but I believe there is truth in it, IT IS OFTEN DARKEST BEFORE THE DAWN!

I believe this is often the case.


Anonymous said...

Here with you in spirit. You will know what it feels to be you, when it feels right and good, and maybe even a little strange, but it will still feel good to you inside. Growing and changing is a difficult process sometimes. Let the tears come if they must. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Keep are not alone!

PS-Wasting and hoarding sounds like an oxymoron! I do it too!??!

Alanis Rae said...

Take your time to feel better. We all need that time.

I feel selfish, too. That's been one of my own issues lately, so I know that feeling.

We're here and we're listening. <3

Tigger :) said...

You are so sweet! I am sorry you are feeling sad! I will pray for you! I want you to know I l♥ve you lots! ♥ Hugs!

April_optimist said...

I hope you are able to feel a bit better soon. Is there anything that makes you smile that you could do--just to help get you through these moments? Big, big ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))).

Marj aka Thriver said...

Sometimes, when I am feeling nothing, sad, blah, etc., it helps when I take some matter how small. How 'bout submitting something for the February BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE? We have a deadline of Wed (2/4) for a Friday edition at a new host's blog.

who I was, who I am, who I plan to be...

i am trying to heal from severe childhood sexual, emotional,
physical, and mental abuse; and abandonment.

this is my story.

i have good and bad days, and some days the odds seem insurmountable.
i cling to the hope that healing will come to mend the shatter pieces of my heart, mind and body.

mile 191, well, you will understand as you read along.
mile 191, portions of my past have a link on the top right.
mile 191, bottoms up. hears to you and to me.

please, if you know me, just let me know you found me. i need honesty. (and please do not use personal names)
if you want to follow my story, please try to heal with me.
if you want to share with me, please do.
i will post bits of my pain as i can, and leave it here.
i once thought that i would publish...i haven't had the courage.

this is my closet, you are welcome to come in.
just know this is my refuge, healing takes place here,
maybe it will be a refuge to you too.

Quotes from Suvivors United - Standing Strong Together Against Abuse

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Helen Keller

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard, ' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney Harris

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
Richard L. Evans

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
Joshua J. Marine

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks CORNUT32! ♥

What a sweet award....and thanks for creating something so wonderful that can be passed along to bloggers who are indeed making a difference by sharing their lives.

I invite all my faithful and dear blogger friends to take this award. You indeed have made a difference in my life.

Thank you so much for being with me on my journey to heal....mile 191